Saturday, March 14, 2009

I once onwned a mpondo !




Lisayikhumbula yini impondo.A lot of guys would display this on the white shirts pocket. This was to show some girls that one has money. This one would never be used no matter what. I also did that trend in 1988 and it was fun.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

THE UGLY FACE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (2)



Angela Cain/Eyewitness News

Indianapolis - Someone with whom you work may be a victim of domestic violence. Studies show that as many as 44% of workers have experienced it.

One abuse survivor whose story made headlines across the nation came to Indianapolis to shatter the silence in the workplace.

The keynote speaker at an Indianapolis conference has had her story published in the New York Times, People Magazine, and the Washington Post.

Her name is Yvette Cade and she has been scarred by abuse, figuratively and literally. Her story even headlined on Oprah.

"I have third degree burns over 65% of my body. So, basically my entire head was engulfed in flames, my upper body and part of my right leg," said Yvette.

She was burned by her estranged husband Roger Hargrave where she worked at a T-Mobile store in a Washington D.C. suburb.

A store security camera shows him walking into the store and up to the counter near Yvette in October 2005.

"He says, 'I love you, Yvette.' I am agitated, but I continue working."

Hargrave was carrying a Sprite bottle that was filled with gasoline. The video shows him pouring it on Yvette.

"I didn't know that it was gas. He was chasing after me. I ran outside."

Yvette fell and then her estranged husband lit a match and threw it on her.

The tape captured coworkers screaming, "She's on fire! She's on fire! He set her on fire!"

There was pandemonium at her workplace and pulsating pain in her body.

"I felt the extreme heat going up my back.The flames were 1,500 degrees. I saw my flesh dripping to my feet. I was screaming, 'Someone help me. Someone help me.'"

A T-mobile customer helped extinguish the flames, but Yvette spent three months in the hospital.

"I was just delirious for three months. I've had 19 surgeries."

It's been a long road to recovery for Yvette, but it's also a road paved with good intentions - helping others.

"I feel great that I'm able to help others get out of abusive relationships."

And to this day, she urges employers to get training on how to recognize and help employees facing abuse at home.

"The victim doesn't want anybody to know. I wore L'Oreal makeup to cover black eyes."

But Yvette says her co-workers knew her estranged husband called her constantly on the job and harassed her - months after she left him.

"They just didn't know how to approach me because we are not taught to say, 'Can I help you?'"

Yvette hopes her tragedy will help save the lives of others. She said that in many ways, it has saved her.

"I don't know where I would be without the Lord."

She is strengthening her faith in God and in herself.

"I am able to love myself, enjoy myself, embrace myself."

She wears her scars as a badge of courage."

"My fingers are deformed, I'm burned, but I value life more than what I look like on the outside, so I'm happy."

Yvette Cade's ex-husband is serving life in prison for his crime.

If you want training on helping domestic violence victims in the workplace, call the Domestic Violence Network of Greater Indianapolis at 475-6110.

If you're in an abusive relationship, click here or call 926-HELP.

Shattering the Silence.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The evil force of dmoestic violence!

One of the hottest stories in the American media these days is the issue of Chris Brown and Rhianna.We all know that on the night of the Grammy awards, singer Chris Brown was arrested allegedly for battering his girl friend Rhianna, also a fellow musician.The two had to cancel their scheduled performance at the Grammies that very night.The development of this story did not only shock the entertainment industry, but also angered the public.Among the celebrities who did not mince their words on the issue was Oprah Winfrey and her friend Gayle King.

Rhianna's fans called for a boycott of his music.To make matters worse Rhianna's police profile picture leaked out to the media.In no time the picture was in every American publication and the world, thanks to the magic of Internet.As if that was not enough, within a space of about a week the story took another turn.Chris Brown and Rhianna were reported to be together again.This would further anger many lawyers and experts who apparently had predicted that such is likely to happen.The high profile story has once again opened a debate about the issues of domestic violence in America.

Many analyst and legal experts suggest that people who engage in domestic violence are not likely to change.It is also believed that there are more domestic cases in America today than reported.Many organizations and individuals have made a deliberate effort to help expose and eradicate domestic violence.Quite often most victims are young women.there are numbers one can call unanimously.If one dials a number, in just a few minutes the whole battalion of armed police force and fire brigade will be bursting the door.Even neighbors can call the police. There are shelters one can take advantage of.If America being a nation that is both developed and civilized as it is has such alarming statistics, one would only shudder to think about our own continent of Africa. Those of us who are living in the diaspora must have seen the disgusting and terrible acts of domestic violence among our own folks on the one of the popular news paper columns.Sadly, some of the victims were murdered and those who lived were maimed.I have wondered why people would come all the way overseas just to kill each other here.

I remember few tears there was a couple I knew had dangerous ups and downs like that.When they were happy they wanted everybody to see, but when their demons were present they fought like wild animals.The young woman took a lot of abuse from this guy.He would come home drunk and beat the hell out of her.He would sometimes take the car and visit his friends only to come at his own time. This young and industrious lady who was the bread winner of the house would sometime lose jobs because she could not find transport to work. Surprisingly he would expect her to pay rent, food and all the bills. He was not the working type. He was an ambitious hassler who wanted a quick buck.The full account of the abuse she took will never be known.Evidently she developed a migraine headache to which even though they have been separated for years, is still a reminder of her past woes.
This young woman is one of the few lucky ones.There are many who are still on the receiving end as I write this article.